The Culture of Hidden Meanings
Why is it that in today’s culture, nobody seems to actually mean what they say? It’s very typical in many of today’s relationships. The girl will say one thing, but mean a completely different thing. There are a plethora of jokes written about this, but the sad thing is that they are entirely true. It has become a rarity in our society to actually mean what we say.
It’s kind of ironic if you think about it, that the words that we use seem to have been over-taken by the way we say them now. It’s no wonder that immigrants have such a hard time learning the English language. We who speak it don’t even use it correctly ourselves. It makes me wonder how we got to this point. In eras past, a man’s word was his strongest bond. You say what you do, and do what you say. I’m willing to bet the same or similar went for women.
Here’s a typical conversation that I myself have taken part in:
Girl: “what are you doing tonight?”
Boy: “Going out with some friends”
Girl: “Oh……….alright then.”
Boy: “Is there a problem here?”
Girl: “No…….. (sigh)(look away)”
Do you see what I mean? Why they hell, if the girl has a problem, doesn’t she just come out and say it? Why has it become so difficult in our society to just mean what we say? I’m willing to bet that if everyone started to mean what they said, we’d have a lot less confusion in the world. You know what I blame this issue on?
Romantic Comedies!
Yes, romantic comedies are to blame. These trite little movies give every girl and sappy guy the ability to believe that life is actually like this. They want the “romantic” fantasy they bring, and using hidden meanings try to force it out into real life. We are all searching for something, but the pain that is coming with hidden meanings is ruining the way that we speak to each other, and making every woman out there think we are all Matthew McConaughey’s inside just waiting to burst out with an endless flood of emotional sappiness.
Now I know that there are many other scenarios where this plays out. Hidden messages are found in pretty much every aspect of our daily lives now, and it’s not gender specific. I just want to know why, if our society keeps growing as a whole (technologically, philisophically, intelligently, etc), are we degressing in our language? Maybe soon we’ll all just start talking in text message lingo.
TTYL, HEHE
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It’s nice to know I’m not the only one complaining about this. I have always been a very open, honest person & in our society today, that gets me in trouble. You know, if a guy says he’ll call, and he doesn’t, I’m not mad that he didn’t call, I’m upset that he lied/ didn’t do what he said he would. If you don’t want to call, don’t tell me you will. I don’t have a very hard time following through with what I say, so I’m shocked when other people do. We are not holding ourselves accountable. And for those of us who are careful and truthful, no one believes us because we’ve been given a bad name. Several times, I have told men “I just want to mess around, I just want to have a good time.” But they will avoid me, not do things with me because they assume I’m lying to them and that I’m secretly choosing our baby’s name and paint colors for our dream home. I’m not! But they assume because I’m a woman, that I will want a relationship. This is very frustrating to me as a single woman, to be judged based on the actions of the majority. I have a degree in communication and am marveled by how the world takes the easy way out. Why is it so hard to be honest, so say what you’re feeling? It usually works out better in the end, but I often find weakness prevails.
I enjoyed your article Brad, you’re absolutely right. Here’s to hoping there’s a few of us out there who still watch what we say, and follow through on our word.
Well, I don’t run into this problem very often…I’m a south jersey girl and can be brutally blunt most of the time. However, I can see why some women do this….being the way I am I’ve been called several interesting things i.e; controlling, demanding, b****, c***, etc. To quote your scenario :
Girl: “what are you doing tonight?”
Boy: “Going out with some friends”
Girl: “Oh……….alright then.”
Boy: “Is there a problem here?”
Girl: “No…….. (sigh)(look away)”
What would really happen if that girl said “Yes there is a problem. I want to spend time with you.”? Most likely, all your friends would hate her and you would call her needy or clingy. So, all in all, we just speak different languages.
BRAVO to Melynie. I never thought of it that way! But right you are.
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Good to see you’re doing some research to fill in the ???
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Good to see you’re doing some research to fill in the ???
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Oh, I’ve done the research. I’ve updated the post to include a hyperlink to the Wisconsin Law Review article I wrote on the subject.
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