BRAD’S RANTS

Although it’s becoming more and more common in today’s ongoing sexual revolution, the topic of anal sex still stirs up quite a commotion, especially in conservative America. I want to examine some of the conundrums surrounding it, as well as some of the facts that directly relate. Lets talk about that wonderful world of BUTT SEX!

One of the most frequent comments I hear from women regarding this topic, is a simple “NO WAY!” The funny thing is, women as a whole seem to hate what they misperceive to be anal sex, not actual anal sex. Also, alluding to the title of this article, Pink Raspberry is my little nickname for a girl’s ass. From here on out, anytime I refer to anal, it will be called Pink Raspberry. The reasoning for this is simply that the very phrase “Anal Sex” seems to make people nervous.

What are some of the most common responses from women regarding this?

1. Ouch, it hurts!

2 Gross, that’s where poop comes from!

3 Are you gay?

First off, I won’t completely deny the first answer. So many women out there have fallen victim to what I call the “idiotic frat boy”. No, this doesn’t mean that someone has to be in a “frat” to be called this, but it’s the simple practice of a guy just shoving his dick right in. In the event that happens, then I agree with all women out there. It will hurt like a bitch. Any guy that complains that his girlfriend won’t try anal because of answer number 1, has whatever frat boy ex-boyfriend of hers to thank for that.

The Pink Raspberry has to be warmed up. Think of it as an extension to overall foreplay. Use some lube, rub it with your thumb, work some fingers in there, but start small. The Pink Raspberry has to be “Initiated” into the right of sex, just like the vagina had to be for the first time. Once a girl relaxes her muscles, it can be very enjoyable for her. The Pink Raspberry is filled with nerve endings, which are the things that give all of us sexual pleasure in the first place. Most importantly though, there has to be trust, honesty, and patience. If a guy can do that, and his girl is willing, then you both will experience some incredible sex.

Second answer, is only partially true. Yes, poop does come out, but it’s not like it’s just sitting in there waiting to. Your “stool” sits in your intestines, not in your anal cavity. In fact, in my experience sometimes the pink raspberry is cleaner than a vagina. I mean, think about it. A vagina bleeds, produces yeast, interacts with urine, and can pretty much secrete anything at this point. I’ve seen nastier shit come out of a vagina than a Pink Raspberry. At least with the Pink Raspberry, there’s really only one possibility of what can come out. Get over it people, it’s really not gross. Shit, you’re probably more likely to get infected with something you touched on a doorknob.

Third answer is fairly ridiculous. The requirement for being gay, is not liking ass. Being gay is a state of mind, not just an affinity of the rear. Why do guys love a woman’s ass so much? Do you think we just want to play the bongos on those cheeks?

Here’s the deal people; if it’s done right, it’s awesome. I speak from experience here, its fucking great. The surprise about it, and not to sound too sappy, but it’s really one of the most intimate sexual experiences you can have. You just have to get out of your 4^th grader head, and grow up a little and realize the reality of it. Be an adult, have some pink raspberry sex, and stop whining.

UPDATE 6.20: Thank you to Kari for putting me in my place on the spelling of Raspberry in the title. It is now updated. Well done.