TOPIC: Who should make the first move???
QUESTION: Whether married or just dating, who should ask for sex first? Believe me if it’s dating it’s easier. I just tell hubby I am going to bed and if he asks I say “OK”. Tired of begging for it, or wondering if I should skip my shower tonight?
ANSWER: This is a question that I think a lot of people face no matter what the situation. I think that with all relationships there will be a varying degree of desire when it comes to sex. Both partners not only will want different amounts of sex, but also different amounts of sex during different times in their lives. I think that the roles of men and women have changed drastically, and its time to face the new reality and adapt accordingly.
As the sexual revolution has progressed, the roles and freedoms have as well. Women are going through a period of sexual empowerment both perceptively good and bad, but its opened the doors for them to demand what they want now. If you want your husband to have sex with you, the you have every right to demand it, or else demand some changes.
No kidding aside, sex is an extremely important part of a relationship, whether fresh or long-term. It is each individual partners’ RESPONSIBILITY to make sure that the other is satisfied. I don’t give a shit what anyone says. If you enter into a relationship with someone, you gotta do the work. That includes sex, and the longer you’re with someone, sometimes the more effort you have to put in to make it exciting. So what can someone do in the position above?
Give your husband/boyfriend an ultimatum. If he’s not satisfying you sexually, then it will create a negative domino effect that will trickle down into other areas. Continue to put forth your effort though. Dress up sexy, give out a blowjob, be spontaneous. Do what needs to be done to spice things up. But make sure that he starts to follow suit as well. Nobody wants to be the only worker in the factory. If he’s still not responsive, and it’s important to you, then I say fuck him (figuratively). You only live once, quit wasting your time! There are plenty of other men who will be glad to fill the vacant shoes.
So, then to finally get to the question. Who should make the first move? The person who wants the sex should. Initiative goes a long way in this world, and you have to take it when it comes to sex. There’s a problem if you’re always making the first move, but in that case see the above paragraph. Now, make that move and get to some happy (hopefully) fucking!
I don’t know if it how I was brought up, but I can be watching a tv show or talking to someone and I don’t even realize color.
I never have. If someone says something, it comes to my attention, but never in a bad way, I just wonder why I didn’t notice.
I assume it was how my parents brought me up, I’m now 44.
.
I think we all laugh the same, bleed, cry, love.
.
Anyone who feels differently, are not worth me letting them take up room in my mind.
Regards, Kristen
Sometimes I say well, i am going to bed ’cause I don’t want him to do anything he doesn’t want to. Sometimes i say hey can we “fool” around tonight or vice versa. It mutual no matter what. If I don’t wnat any do you think he’s gonna get some? Only if he is a rapist If I want some and he aint in the mood? Well you guys are easier to get in the mood and a can do a little “bump and grind” but if you still say NO I’ll let it go. Oh by the way it is easier for woamn to let it go more and guys…. and I must say knowing that I don’t say no to hubby anytime unless Iam so unbathed or my back is killing me or I am just to plain “dead” tired but I make up for it the next night. Love you guys
personally I think that the least tired of the two should make the first move.
I mean
If I’m drooling in my sleep chances are I’m not gonna get up to stroke you. But if you want it that bad, get in there and wake me up with some sexy goodness. I don’t think anyone is gonna say “bring your head back up to the pillow babe I’m sleeping”. unless your Ill or your partner is on your bad side that day. I just think equality is need but keeping score sucks for a relationship too so just keep it even.
Hey thanks for addressing this. This is currently something the old man and I are having some trouble with. I tend to agree with you. Whoever is feeling frisky should just make a move. What’s the worst that is going to happen? They might say no but thats why we can masturbate. If you get no a little too often I believe your partner isn’t trying to meet your needs and who wants to be stuck to someone so selfish anyway?
Well, I am in almost the same situation. But I would never leave the man that I love just because I don’t think I get it enough. When he wants it he initiates it and when I want it I initiate it. I have done the sexy clothes, kids in bed or gone, xrated movies, looking at porn online, impromptu bjs. You name it I have tried. I get it once or twice a week right now. So I am content.
I do not think there is a right or wrong person to make the first move. I have been married 20 years and most of the time neither of us say anything at all its just in a touch. And after all this time its still nightly except one week of the month.Thats when I pleasure him in other ways.
So my opinion if you want it go for it .
Loretta, I agree.
Having been marries 20 years also there is nothing like the comfort of knowing your partner. My wife loves it when I sneak under the covers early in the morning and make her “GASP” as I pleasure her.
Sure does start the day off right!!